Halfway There!

This afternoon's class was number thirty.  That is thirty classes in fifteen days, and halfway to my goal of sixty in thirty.  I feel accomplished for having made it this far, and it hasn't been easy.

The journey thus far has been emotionally, physically, and mentally turbulent.  I've been everything from devastated to elated, from decimated to bursting with energy, and from dazed to having peace and clarity of mind.

The days that I have been devastated, decimated, and dazed have been few, and I recognize that these are the days when my being is struggling to most to grow, expand, and come into focus.

The persistent heated core that I experienced early in my practice is gone, as is my voracious appetite.  In fact, my appetite is all but gone, though I'm still eating small portions of meals when I know I should in order to keep my energy up.

As an experiment, I forwent my early morning breakfast this morning, and I still had consistent energy all the way through class.  After class I had just two eggs (instead of my usual three) and a very small side and it still felt like too much.  My lunch was equally minimal, just some grapes, chicken heart and liver, and a couple of mushrooms.  For dinner, after my afternoon yoga, I had a little bit more of an appetite, but still didn't have any desire to eat what I would have previously considered to be normal portions for me.

As someone who had been fat my entire life, I can tell you that I've never experienced a decreased appetite like this without being ill.  I can't recall reaching satiety during a meal without also being just stuffed full.  This is a very strange and unexpected adjustment to have to make, though I am doing my best to continue to listen to my body and fully commit to these adjustments.

I will be weighing myself in the morning, same time as my initial weigh in, so that I can get the most accurate measurement possible for my halfway point.  I can tell you I haven't once stepped on a scale this week and have it read over 280 pounds, no much water I had drank to rehydrate.  I'm excited to see what the number is, but I already know that the change in my physique has been severe.

I was going to post progress pictures, but... that isn't going to happen.

Instead, I will leave you with a picture of my nieces who will be visiting next week:

Namaste.